LOOKING OUT FOR NUMBER ONE

#1
BRAIN SHARE


bruce springsteen - i'm on fire
beck - jackass
nirvana - tourettes (live)
pre - dude fuk
d numbers - xylem up
erase errata - tax dollar
fiona apple - sleep to dream
sonic youth - wish fulfillment
christian bale - no, fuck, no.


#2 EYE SHARE















#3 MIND SHARE


things to remember en route from santa fe -> tulsa
as written by myself on january 29, 2009


"last night we climbed a mountain with a boy named ben and a dog named gordo. watched the sunset over the huge valley below and thought about how i must be ready to write a novel soon. other things, a dog named juarez, a dude named chewy, and a boy named talon. dusty colored clouds on route 66. "isn't it better to be young forever?" i keep forgetting things, afraid that all the stories are going to slip through the cracks of my memory. falling asleep in richmond in the freezing cold, listening to nick drake, someone crying and we fall asleep holding hands, desperate for thoughtfulness. carcasses of dogs and deer on the side of the freeway, rotting in the white ditch grass. everything smells like weed and cheap coffee. dirty hair, yesterday's mascara caking on my eyelids, the desolation of the panhandle stretching out beneath the tires burning through the cold and hazy afternoon, trying to get to tulsa on time. shaking christmas trees, becoming someone's favorite witch, beginning to look at cows with envy. border patrol asks us detailed questions for citizenship verification: " are you US citizens? where are you coming from? where are you going? do you have any plants, fruits, or animals?" tap-dancing on fred astaire's star, driving down the 101, thinking "this would make a good sample." the birthplace of roger miller, the siren song of vegas, the same dirty flannel for weeks, stealing iron maiden shoes from a dude with a subscription to flex magazine, MAKING OUR WAY TO WHERE THE PUZZLES AND THE PAGANS LAY, oklahoma welcome centers, rowboats sitting on frozen ponds, hawks perched on weak and waving branches in dead trees. 24 hour prayer hotline, the oddity of middle america, life on the road! gotta get to the show! make it home by saturday! my cavities need filling, hot blood, hips and grease, baby springtime, love that feels like planets, my stringy hair sticking to my mouth, ashing into my lap, corporate cattle farms, wanting to get buzzed, red earth with mobile homes littering the dusty soil, elk city, dude ranches, menstrual cramps, wanting to swim, in an indoor pool, across the ocean, doesn't matter. drum machines and blue skies, cigarettes in our lips to calm the thump of a heart beneath the sternum. cops in pick up trucks, ink stains on my right hand, lip balm that smells like chew, windmills that make you believe in giants, born to be wild, like a true natures child. thinking about america, where we look at our country with horror and longing. its terrible beauty reeking havoc on our psyche's until we can't help but finger the hollow holes it burns into our hearts, the dead space that belongs to this weird patriotism.


don't forget about how in jacksonville you slept in the car as two people were robbed at gunpoint right outside and then the helicopters circled the neighborhood for hours and everyone was too drunk to remember to make sure you weren't dead."